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Araly Acres
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Joined: 05 Apr 2011
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PostPosted: Sat May 14, 2011 11:14 pm    Post subject: WIP  Reply with quote

Can you see that I'm bored? Okay this is a story line that I've worked on for quite some time. What I need from you guys is to read what I've written and tell me if it sounds good (or bad), if you would change something or if you want to read the next part of the story.

This one has no name. I've been calling it Work In Progress but I'm honestly leaning toward calling it Power Of One.


                                  Prologue
For the first time in seasons the storm clouds lifted over the lands as far as the villagers could see. They came out of their houses with curiosity as the thunder rumbled off  in the distance. Something was going on. The skies would not clear without reason. Murmurs shifted through the wind. How long would they see the glorious sun? The forgotten children ran beneath their mother's skirt tails before they could be stopped. Leaves blew lightly in the breeze around them as they twirled with their arms stretched upward, toward the warm rays. Mothers had no choice but to smile and join in. The weary remained in their homes, not chancing the light. The only evidence of their existence was the little movement of the curtains.
On the edge of the meadow, where the daffodils didn't dare to grow, stood a small cottage completely blanketed in ivy. In that moment, while the town's people twirled in the sun, a baby's wail was tenderly quieted. Almost silently replaced by the gentle sobs of her very young mother. Then replaced by the sounds of hooves thundering against the hard earth. The harsh skies parted in front of the winded rider, carrying his pacified cargo. Then just as quickly the storm replaced itself over the forlorn village. Drawn like a ribboned blanket pulled by the last hair of the black stead's tail.
Across the ocean, a world away from the little village, a raft drifted onto the beach of an island. It's passenger lulled asleep by the soft roll of the sea. The keeper of the isle heard the soft bumps of the foreign vessel rolling itself onto the sand. Peering around the stony ridge she had been resting on she saw the small bundle laid gently in a basket on the center of the raft. Surprise did not come easy to her, so she calmly walked over and pulled the raft in. The bundle did not stir when she picked it up and removed the blankets. She knew what they contained but was at mercy to her curiosity. Tucking the sleeping infant into her arms she peeled apart the last blanket.  A girl, she thought, Ciarda will be pleased.
Swiftly she carried her into their home, pressing the baby against her to try and quiet the noise of the cascading water which hid the entrance to their dwelling. She quietly walked through the sleeping children until she came to the back of the cavern. The baby stirred slightly as she sat on the side of the makeshift bed where her sister lay. With several excited nudges she shook her awake, speaking in a whisper. “Ciarda, it is a girl.”
“A girl, Eilidh?” her sister replied.
“Yes, see?” Eilidh pushed the baby at her.
Ciarda took the baby into her arms. “Another girl, finally.”
She lay the baby on a bed of down and rabbit fur, by the trickle of a tiny stream. Then she followed her sister out of the cave. “I wonder what is going on in the mainlands.” Eilidh pondered out loud.
“Nothing good I suppose.”
“No...nothing good,” Eilidh sighed. “You think we should name her now?”
Ciarda stopped. “Yes, I think we should. She has a very strong aura. Did you feel it?”
“Yes, I did,” The corner of Eilidh's lips turned up. “We shouldn't wait.”
“What do you suppose we call her?”
“I rather like Anneliese,” Eilidh commented.
“That has a nice ring to it.” And so it was.
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Arden Acres
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PostPosted: Sun May 15, 2011 2:45 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I always like reading more of your stories Smile
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Araly Acres
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PostPosted: Mon May 16, 2011 1:00 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Eilidh walked along the beach, running her hair through her hands. The children were drawing flowers in the sand. All except Anneliese, who lie on the crest of the ocean, letting the tide sweep her long black hair around her. Ciarda was waiting for them. Eilidh frowned for a moment. She heard footsteps behind her and so she paused.
“Are the kids coming in?” Trina asked, a proper welcome was due.
“Anneliese doesn't want to come in,” Eilidh paced a few steps.
Trina's pressed her lips. “Should we give her some time?”
“I don't know what her problem is,” Eilidh replied, shaking her head.
Trina pulled her sack out of the sand. “I'll go on then. I assume Ciarda is waiting. I have some things for her. Clothing and such.”
Eilidh nodded, solemnly. Before she left Trina glanced at the children playing on the beach. The little girl lying in the water reflected in her eyes. She felt compelled to befriend the child but wasn't sure  the reason. Trina smiled at Eilidh and walked toward the cliffs. Eilidh watched her go. Gently she waved the other children after her. Curiously they followed in the visitor's footsteps. All except Anneliese, who still hadn't opened her eyes. Eilidh squinted at the setting sun. She timed her steps with the soft roll of the tide. Gently coming to stop beside the still girl. She stood for some time before speaking.
“Anneliese, we have a visitor,” she said.
Anneliese closed her eyes firmly, her tiny fists clenched at her sides. She knew a visitor had shown, the first since she had floated onto the shores in her makeshift raft. Yet, Eilidh did not know that since Trina had come Anneliese's senses had become overwhelming. She tried to let the tide carry away the thoughts that were going through her confused mind. It only brought on more echoes inside her. Letting out a sharp breath she sat, then stood. She looked up at Eilidh and nodded. Eilidh exhaled with a smile. She let Anneliese lead her up and into the caves.
The children were waiting outside of the entrance when they approached. Ciarda had bid them to stay outside. When they entered the children sat in a half circle at the front of their elders.  Trina and Ciarda went silent. A few of the children moved over to make room for Anneliese. Anneliese, however, did not sit. She stood starring at their visitor. Her eyebrows pushed together, lower lip almost pouting, hands still in fists by her side. Trina's eyes narrowed slightly.
“Anneliese...” Eilidh said, softly. “This is Trina.”
Anneliese nodded. Ciarda frowned, it wasn't like the children to not mind their manners. Eilidh held her hand up to her sister. Her face was a mask of confusion. “Trina is only here for a short time. She has come to help you guys understand yourselves better.”
Trina took that as her cue and stood up. “Hello, Anneliese.”
Anneliese cocked her head. Hello, she thought. Trina gasped. The others turned their heads to her, their gazes ripe with curiosity. Eilidh opened her mouth to say something but thought better of it. Trina walked within a couple steps of Anneliese.
You can hear me?, Trina thought.  “She can hear me,” She said.
Yes, Anneliese thought.
“Can you hear everyone in this room?” Trina whispered. Anneliese frowned, her lip stuck out a little further. She pressed her eyes closed for a moment. Turning her head to each person slowly. Yes, she nodded. Trina gasped again. “Is that....” Pausing, she shook her head. No two could posses the same ability. It just wasn't possible.  Is that your power?
Anneliese looked at her sadly. “I don't....”  She began, before her mind gave her away. I can do other things.
“Other things?” Other things? Trina both thought and said. “Can you show me?”
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Araly Acres
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PostPosted: Tue Jun 14, 2011 3:58 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Anneliese took a deep breath. Yes. She looked around the room slowly, stopping at Eilidh.“Eilidh's light,” she said. Eilidh stood stock still. Impossible, she thought. Not so, Anneliese replied, knowing Eilidh wouldn't hear it. Sure enough Anneliese raised her hand and a soft glow began to form around her hand. Just as if Eilidh was doing it herself, yet subtle. The light did not glow as bright, it did not reach like it did for Eilidh. She noticed Anneliese's face flush with effort as she let the light fade.
“Ciarda's darkness,” Anneliese whispered. She snapped her finger and the room went darker. The light was blocked from the candles by a small film of dusk. Ciarda could darken a room absolutely. “Aura's wind,” she mumbled, her eyes closing. The oldest child watched curiously. She was the only other girl and wind was her ability. Anneliese raised her hands in front of her. A small gust of wind blew through the entrance, bringing with it soft drops of water from the fall. Everyone except Anneliese turned toward the wind. Before Anneliese could continue she gave a small gasp and collapsed to the ground.
Eilidh gathered her in her arms. Feeling the fever that brushed through the child. Trina stood with her jaw gaped. Slowly she followed Eilidh as she placed the girl on her bed. Ciarda hadn't moved from her spot. She looked down at the floor as if it could answer her questions. Anneliese may be the answer everyone was looking for. But....

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